


Changes

by Sehrezad



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Cohabitation, Developing Relationship, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:28:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sehrezad/pseuds/Sehrezad
Summary: Life is constantly changing. Sarah and Ethan have to deal with that together when they are forced to share an apartment. But where does it leave the two of them? Sarah/Ethan, of course





	1. New Territory

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
> 
> Hey, guys, look at that. One long continuous story. That's a first for me in this fandom! The story loosely follows the show but, obviously, it is AU. It takes up sometime before Monday Mourning. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: New Territory

Not for the first time, Ethan wondered how he had gotten where he was at the moment: sitting by his kitchen isle watching Sarah preparing dinner for the two of them.

Not that he was complaining. He liked the view.

She looked like she belonged there even though it was obvious that she was feeling slightly put out by the situation herself - if her incessant talking was anything to go by. But he liked that, too. Moving in his kitchen, entertaining him with little nonsenses was in stark contrast with her withdrawn behavior at the hospital. And he found this side of her completely charming. And he had to admit hot, too. Earlier that evening he was practically ordered to go and warm the bench while she insisted on making dinner.

Once again, he wasn't complaining. He liked a woman who could take control… and who knew her way in the kitchen.

And if he was not mistaken, she was similarly impressed by the state of his kitchen. It was, after all, a kitchen well used… and well stocked.

"So," he chimed in her monologue when there was a little pause. "Do you cook a lot?"

"Not as much as I'd like, no," she shrugged nonchalantly. "It's no fun when I'm the only one eating it."

Ethan frowned. "What about Joey?"

"Oh, he has a special diet," Sarah chuckled but Ethan couldn't hear the humor in it. "And he has a special place to go to eat."

"I have to say it's his loss. It smells heavenly."

"Well, let's hope it tastes so, too," Sarah smiled as she opened the oven. "It's ready."

The dinner started with a little awkward silence but Ethan quickly forgot about it. That lasagna was indeed heavenly. He smiled appreciatively.

"You know, I'm keeping you," he informed Sarah, just before stuffing another forkful into his mouth.

"Be careful what you're saying."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a possibility," she said in a small voice. "It may very well be that my building's become uninhabitable."

Oh, yes, the fire. Ethan quickly sobered up. It was horrible. He would never forget seeing Sarah's building on the news… in flames. He knew that Sarah had the day off so seeing the footage made his world stop for a moment. Fortunately, Sylvie Brett had just answered the call to the scene when she was passing by so he quickly followed her and joined the EMTs.

Fortunately, it turned out that having a day off for Sarah means volunteering at the local dog shelter and not lounging at home. He'd been actually sooner on the scene than her. It was a relief.

She was all right. The rest, they could sort out.

"Hey, Sarah." He reached over the table to take her hand. "What matters is that you are all right. You gave a serious scare to all of us."

"Tell me about it," she frowned. "But, hey let's talk about something else. I'm just not ready to deal with it right now."

"Okay," Ethan concurred then long silence ensued. "So… puppies. It figures," he smiled teasingly, referring back to her preferred free-time activity.

"Says the man who brought a panda to the hospital."

"Okaaay, something else then."

"What about your girlfriend? Vicky, right? Do I get to meet her?"

"No," was Ethan's succinct reply.

"You can't actually hide me from her, you know," she teased then something occurred to her. "It won't be a problem, right? I mean me being here? I don't want to cause any problems. Maybe I should have just gone with Natalie's offer… or Will's or Connor's. At least their girlfriends know me."

"You should have not." A patient smile was playing on Ethan's lips. She was doing it again. "And you won't. You are here. She won't be."

"I guess she's not the jealous ty… Wait. What do you mean: she won't be?"

"She'd been deployed," Ethen answered, standing up and collecting their empty plates. "We broke up."

"I'm sorry." He heard her say as he put the dishes into the sink.

"Don't be. It wasn't going anywhere while she was here. It definitely wouldn't have gone anywhere with her on the other side of Earth."

"Still, it sucks." Sarah appeared next to him.

As he looked at her pouting face, he couldn't help but think that it might not.

* * *

Sarah stepped into the unfamiliar room with some trepidation. It had a minimalist design, like the rest of the apartment, and it did not help in the least to help her feel at home. She hadn't felt that way when Ethan was around. Her initial awkwardness disappeared as soon as Ethan put a reassuring hand on the small of her back and ushered her into the apartment. It was still strange, being alone with Ethan, but she felt welcomed.

Now, in the room, she felt alone. She felt unanchored. She might have just lost her apartment. Granted that she had been only renting it but it had become a place she called home. She had no home now.

What would she do now?

She looked at the door as she heard Ethan moving about. It was such an unfamiliar experience: having someone living with you. She'd never been much for sharing. She loved her personal space too much. Not as if there had been too many people trying to invade it.

But it was Ethan moving around and it put a smile on her face. A smile that quickly turned into a frown.

She should really not think like that. Maybe, she should not have come here at all. She had a boyfriend for God's sake!

But did she really?

If she found her reluctance to ask Joey to let her stay with him troubling, she found it downright concerting that he had not offered her the possibility at the first place. Everybody was so quick to offer her a place – even Natalie with the baby or Will without an own place to offer – but Joey just gave her a sympathetic look and reassured her that it would be all right.

It was not reassuring at all as far as their relationship was concerned.

Just like the fact that she was so quick to accept Ethan's offer. She groaned as she pulled the cover off the bed and jumped when a knock sounded on her door.

"Hey," Ethan gave her a small smile. "I brought you some clothes you can sleep in," he offered her the pack in his hands. "When we get the clear, we can go back to your apartment and get your stuff."

"Thank you," suddenly she felt miserable. As the fire broke out on a lower leveler, her apartment must be mostly all right. She couldn't help the feeling, though, that she'd lost everything.

"Hey, it's okay," Ethan reached out to touch her arm. "You have some rest now. And you are home here, all right? Don't tiptoe around me, you hear me?"

She could only nod before closing the door.

She was home. She wished she could feel that way.

**TBC**

_Thanks for reading!_


	2. Someone Else's Date

It was only for a moment that Ethan stopped when he saw Sarah, then he started towards her with hurried, determined steps. He hadn't even stopped before he sneaked his arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Hey, babe," he greeted her in a voice that made sure that her companion got the message. The woman was taken. "Sorry I'm late but I was held up."

After her initial surprise, he could actually feel Sarah relax by his side. "Is he bothering you?" he turned an ice-cold stare to the man next to them.

"That's all right," Sarah put a hand on his chest to stop him from doing anything rash, he supposed. Like beating that disgusting piece of shit into the concrete. Of course, he was bothering her. That was the reason why he was there. That and that Joey had stood her up. "He was just keeping me company. Can we go home, please, now?"

He stood back then, reaffirming his hold on her. "Of course," he replied, his eyes not leaving the other man. "Let's go."

They walked with their arms around each other and it was a long while later that Sarah's head shot up in realization. "You walked," she stated sincerely stunned.

"Well," Ethan chuckled as they came to a stop. "Technically I ran. I was out on a date myself, you know, when I got your message. It sounded urgent. And I wasn't that far away."

"You didn't say you had a date," Sarah said with narrowed eyes as she ran her eyes over his attire. Ethan smiled. Was she checking him out? Well, he guessed, it was only fair.

"It was a last minute thing," he shrugged. "She wasn't sure she could make it."

"Ethan, thank you so much for coming."

"Of course," he nodded. "I'm sorry that your night fell through." He knew how happy she was that Joey had asked her out on a real date. He watched her excitement as she prepared for the night. She was adorable as she was running between her room and the bathroom, even forgetting at one point that she was wearing only a towel. But if he stopped at her sight in the towel, he was seriously dumbstruck by her sight in a dress. And it wasn't even that that it was revealing. No, she had a simple deep purple dress, the kind that delicately hugged her upper body and widened towards her knees. It was tasteful. It was beautiful. It was Sarah.

He had never really realized it but most of the days, he wondered what Sarah was doing with Joey. What was keeping that relationship alive? The boy was eccentric. But that was all right. There was nothing wrong with being different. But, honestly, there was something seriously miswired in the kid's brain.

There was this girl… no, woman, because there was no mistake about it when she was dressed like that and not her usual shirt and pants combo with the hipster vibe, that Sarah Reese was a beautiful young woman… and the kid had the audacity to stand her up.

"That's okay," she shrugged with the resignation of somebody who was used to that but couldn't help feeling disappointed anyway. "Maybe he knew that the night was doomed anyway. I hate eating out dressed up like a doll. Now, you could imagine how he would have felt."

"But you seemed so excited."

"That wasn't because of the fancy restaurant," she supplied bitterly as she turned to start walking.

"Hey," Ethan reached to touch her arm, "seeing that you are all dressed up, it would be a shame to let it go to waste. Come on," he grabbed her hand and started to walk. He smiled when Sarah caught up with him in her high-heels, giggling.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Come on."

"And what about your date?"

"Don't worry. She can keep herself occupied. By the time she realizes that I'm gone, we'll be already back."

* * *

"A pizza place?" Sarah stopped confounded in front of the large building. "I'm all dressed up and you take me to a pizza place?"

"You said you don't like fancy restaurants. It's nothing if not 'not fancy'," Ethan grinned and Sarah couldn't help following suite.

"I like it," she gave him a dazzling smile.

"Let's go then. I'm starving."

They had a pleasant meal huddled in a booth, talking about anything and everything. Ethan turned out to be an excellent company. At first, after moving into his guest room, Sarah was worried how they would fit. She wasn't an overly social person and neither was he. She thought it would be awkward, at least at first. But to her surprise, it wasn't like that at all. Ethan had welcomed her into his home and went far out of his way to make her feel that. He was a sweetheart.

And the night was proving it more than anything. A sweet dependable man. It was hard to come by.

"Ready for the rest of the night?" he spoke up as they finished their pizza.

"The rest of the night?" Sarah arched her eyebrow.

"You didn't think that you're all dressed up and I bring you to a pizza place, did you?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

"But you said…"

"Come on." He shot out of his seat and, once again, Sarah found herself gently pulled after the man. "You'll like it. Trust me."

They didn't go far as, as soon as they stepped out of the restaurant, they stopped in front of a doorway that led up to the apartments of the building. A large sign advertized that not all of the apartments were for living.

"A dance studio?" Again, she was dumbstruck. That man must be enjoying confusing the hell out of her.

"They have live music on Friday," he supplied completely missing the point of her question.

"Great… but a dance studio?" He said she'd like it… to trust him on that. She trusted him, really… but she wasn't so sure about that one.

"It'll be fun, you'll see." And with that, Sarah found herself led up the stairs and into a large open area where people were dancing… the waltz. This time, she didn't dare to ask.

But she didn't need to. Ethan stopped behind her as he started to talk. "My grandma raised me," he started. "She was an old-fashioned lady and a firm believer in good manners… and waltz. I've been dancing since I can remember. It kept me out of trouble, too. She used to work at this place. It keeps me close to her." He stepped in front of her. "Would you dance with me, Sarah?"

She gulped. Then she accepted his hand and he led her to the dance floor.

The man knew what he was doing, she quickly realized because in spite of her lacking any talent as far as body-coordination was concerned, she was moving on the floor with surprising aptness. She was enjoying herself immensely. He was right after all.

When the music stopped and the band took a break, Sarah had the opportunity to really look around. It was a surprisingly mixed crowd which Ethan was leading her through. She could see people who were entirely too young to be out that late at night… and people who were entirely too old. To her surprise, it was such a group Ethan was heading. Four ladies were sitting around a table playing bridge and having the time of their life. She only realized that Ethan had been holding her hand when he let it go.

"Hey, Doris, you having a good time?" He had a really charming smile on his face.

"Of course I am having a good time," the woman scoffed completely unimpressed. "But not as good as you are, I see." A small smile was playing on her lips as she threw a sideway glance at Ethan. Sarah smiled at the affectionate display. "Where did you get such a nice girl anyway?"

"Doris," Ethan once again reached for her and pulled Sarah closer to the group. "This is Sarah Reese. We work together actually."

"Oh, the woman he lives with," came a not so subtle whisper from among the other ladies.

"We are not…" Ethan tried.

"The one with the beautiful hair…" In vain.

"And eyes. Don't forget the eyes."

"And the cutest frown."

"You are embarrassing me here," Ethan cleared his throat. But he wasn't alone in his embarrassment. Sarah was sure that she was blushing like hell.

"Oh, they know, honey. They know." Doris wasn't helping, either.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs-" Sarah finally spoke up.

"It's just Doris, dear. And these are the girls: Chan-Mi, Juliette and Estella." They all waved in her direction with a pleasant smile. Sarah had the feeling that they were sizing her up.

"All right," Ethan spoke up. "If you are all set, we leave you to it. We'll be around when you're ready to leave, Doris."

"Don't worry about us," Doris waved already turning back to their game. "We're all good. Go, entertain your lady friend."

"Ladies," Ethan turned with a pleasant smile and led Sarah away.

"But send some plum juice our way if you are going to the bar, please." Doris threw over her shoulder. Ethan laughed out but did not comment otherwise.

"They are really nice," Sarah noted with a smile.

"They are," Ethan agreed as they settled down by the bar. The band was back in the background and couples started to swirl to the music. Sarah smiled at a couple who couldn't be more than 10. "Four plum juice for my date and her friends there," he signed to the bartender and indicated the table where the ladies were sitting. They waved pleasantly to the large man behind the bar.

Sarah's eyes bulged out. "Doris is your date!"

"She was my grandma's best friend." Ethan nodded. "This place is used to be only a bar back in the days where folks could meet and dance. Then it became a dance studio. I learnt to dance here actually. Once a week, though, they have live music and everybody still gathers here. Someone for old times' sake, others because they like dressing up for the occasion… and everybody shares the passion for dance. When I have the time and Doris feels up to it, I bring her here to meet her friends and watch all the dancing."

"You are a surprising man, Ethan Choi." Sarah nudged his shoulder with her own.

The night flew by and Sarah could have sworn that she had never had so much fun. They danced a great deal more and, to her utmost surprise, Sarah had really enjoyed it. They went back to the ladies as well before leaving and taking Doris home. Sarah quickly learnt to dismiss their friendly teasing and wholly enjoyed when it was aimed at Ethan. Who knew that it only took a couple of nice old ladies to embarass the man?

"That was the most fun I've had in a very long time," Sarah giggled, leaning against the door frame and trying to get rid of her heels as Ethan opened the door when they finally got home.

"I'm glad you had a good time. We can always repeat it if you feel up to it."

"It's a date," Sarah stated, stopping in the doorway right in front of Ethan, beaming at him. They did not move for a long moment and when they finally did, it was Ethan who leant forward and pressed a kiss on Sarah's forehead.

"Go, you can have the shower."

"You're such a gentleman," Sarah teased before turning and leaving for the bathroom.

The smile only fell from her face when she stopped in front of the mirror. She thought about the date with Joey that only hadn't ended in disaster because it hadn't happened at the first place. But she'd got to spend a great night with Ethan.

And it was a perfect date.

Too bad, it was someone else's date.

**TBC**

_Thanks for reading! And sorry for the mistakes!_


	3. Changing Rhythm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update. Here we are at "Monday Mourning". I have to admit, though, that I cheated. I actually put my other story, "Aftermath" here. I thought it would fit well here.

He tensed when he heard the door open behind him and somebody step out into the cold night air. He wanted to be alone, that was why he visited that part of the roof that was only frequented by maintenance personnel. After visiting the morgue and spending some time with Wheeler, he was still fighting with his feelings, the turmoil his death stirred up within him, and he did not want anybody to see him in that state… quickly losing a battle with his tears.

But then he heard a little sniff and instantly recognized the intruder.

He turned around.

He registered her shock at seeing his probably red eyes and saw her mouth open to say something.

"I don't want to talk about it," he was quick to say and she promptly closed her mouth, stepping back a little. He cursed himself for his quick outburst and reached out for her.

When she kept her eyes cast down, he dropped his arm disappointed.

Then she looked up.

"I do not want to talk about it, either," she sputtered at once, moving her arms defensively. "And I do not want to listen to anybody talk about it."

He nodded. Waiting.

"I…" She stopped then started again. "I just…" Her fingers were flexing nervously. "I was just looking for you," she finally stated in a steady but clearly exhausted voice.

Then he knew…

He stepped forward and gently pulled her into his arms, holding her firmly. He closed his eyes when he could feel her fingers desperately grabbing the back of his scrubs and her tears soaking the front.

And that was when his tears fell.

* * *

The ride home was silent, both of them deep in their own thoughts.

Sarah knew that she'd be forever grateful for Connor for showing her that it was only human to err. It would not change the fact, though, that Jason was dead and she'd had the opportunity to help him. She wondered whether the guilt would ever go away.

She was worried, too. She asked Dr. Charles how he was holding up but apart from admitting that the day was awful, he said a lot of things without saying anything at all. She didn't even dare to guess what was stored in the man's mind. All the grief and sorrow that wasn't even his to begin with.

And there was Ethan. It wasn't really hard to figure out how he went on with processing the events. It was clear from the moment he requested her presence at the ED. His processing meant not dealing with it, focusing on work and claiming a sense of normalcy. It was understandable on some level. A protecting mechanism, maybe. She was sure that he had lost a lot of men during his service… friends and colleagues. She was sure, too, that it must have been a huge shock for him to lose someone now. And in such a senseless way.

She hadn't seen him much during the day but rumors reached her. She was actually afraid what she'd find when she went looking for him earlier. She was afraid that he was still clammed up. She had not the energy to deal with that. Sincerely, she just wanted that hug. She just wanted to let it out and call it a day. Life goes on and all.

Too bad that it was easier said than done.

They might not have known Jason so well during his life, but his death would leave an impression on their lives for sure.

When they got home, they went on with their usual routine. Sarah went to take a shower while Ethan prepared dinner. They didn't eat much and they did that in silence. It seemed that whatever they'd have to say, it would be related to the tragic death of Jason and so, they'd rather remained silent.

It was well into the night, and after a long period of just sitting on the couch, when Sarah finally decided it was time for sleep… or at least for trying to do so. So, after giving Ethan a sideway glance, she stood up and told him that she was going to bed.

She was already half-way to her room when Ethan reacted.

"I have PTSD," he confessed to Sarah's back. His voice was so uncharacteristically small that it twisted her heart. "Most of the nights I have trouble sleeping."

Slowly, she turned and looked at the man and her heart went out for him. The psychiatrist in her urged her to make him talk about it but the friend in her had other thoughts. Silently, she walked back to the couch and settled down next to him. She did not keep the respectable distance that had always been between them. She sat down right next to him, shoulders touching. And when she reached over to take his hand, she could hear the relieved sigh that Ethan heaved and she suspected it was not because she was willing to stay. She would not press. He would talk when he was ready. Now, he needed something else.

She shifted so that she could lean back comfortably on the couch and pulled Ethan with her. He went without protest and settle by her side, his head gently falling against hers.

It didn't take long for them to fall asleep.

* * *

It was stupid, really, Ethan concluded as he closed the door behind him. It was the middle of the night and he'd just got back from his run he'd started sometime in… the middle of the night. He just couldn't sleep. More precisely, he couldn't get himself to go to bed and face the night. So, he had stayed up long after Sarah had turned in, throwing longing glances at her door. It was stupid, he had concluded then, too. Granted that the previous day, they'd had fallen asleep on the couch snuggled up to each other and he had had the best sleep in a very long time but still...

Another glance at Sarah's door before he went to his own, wrapped up his hands, pulled on his gloves and started punching the bag.

It was stupid.

He was exhausted enough the day before to fall asleep on his legs. No wonder he slept through the night.

Maybe, if he was able to exhaust himself until he couldn't stand… He punched harder. Yeah, because he hadn't tried that one before, he leant dejectedly against the bag, closing his eyes and trying to regain his breath.

"You should have some sleep," suddenly came a gentle voice. He opened his eyes and there was Sarah, standing in her crumpled night-wear, hair tussled, eyes worried. "Come on," she reached out a hand for him and, when he took it, she gently pulled him to his bed. He watched astounded as she climbed in and settled down.

"I stink," he blurted out. That was the only thing that came to his mind.

"It's 3:20 in the morning," Sarah mumbled, burying her head into his pillow. "I really don't care."

After getting off his gloves, he settled down next to her and closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. He could feel sleep coming as soon as his head hit the pillow. Man, he was exhausted!

That must have been the reason why he slept soundly until the alarm went off.

He didn't protest, however, when the following night, it was his bed that Sarah went to. He did not go out for a run, either, before going to bed.

* * *

Connor was surprised when Sarah found him with a favor to ask: she needed help moving her things from her apartment after the building had been declared dangerous and she was not allowed to return to her apartment. There was a date fixed for each of the tenants of the building to go and collect their belongings. No furniture was to be moved but they were allowed to take whatever they could carry in their hands.

Surprised though he was, he did not hesitate to offer his help.

He liked her company and it seemed that she was feeling at ease with him, too. In fact, they were quickly becoming friends. Just like with Ethan. They had shared a couple of beer now and then but those couple of beers formed a bond between them and now he was glad to call the other man a friend.

He was actually happy when Sarah took Ethan's offer after the fire.

Ethan was a good guy, even if a little too hot headed. But it seemed that, in some way, Sarah's presence in his life had tuned that tendency somewhat. It was interesting, actually, how the two of them were influencing the other. He doubted that they had even noticed themselves but it was strikingly obvious if one was thinking about it. Their relaxed manner with Ethan's flexibility and Sarah's openness were a welcome change in their dispositions.

Connor was happy for them.

Not surprisingly, Ethan was at Sarah's side when they met up to go to the apartment.

He could hear the shocked gasp that escaped Sarah's lips when she caught sight of the building. It was cordoned off but the water and fire damage was apparent from even a distant. The building was only standing because it was propped up.

The apartment itself was a little better off, Connor quickly assessed as they entered. Sarah's steps were cautious but it seemed that Ethan's hand on the small of her back provided the needed support. Connor smiled before turning his attention to the place.

Water damage was not apparent that far up but who knew what the obviously cracked walls were hiding. Even replacing the windows would not have been a great thing, either. The smell of smoke was pervasive, though. Even if Sarah could have returned to her place, it would have taken months and a complete renovation and refurnishing to get rid of that smell.

Though Sarah seemed to be taking everything in stride, she'd been far too silent ever since they caught sight of the building.

"This is a nice place," Connor observed when Sarah retreated to her bedroom to start packing. "It's practical… comfortable."

"It was her sanctuary," Ethan added with a heavy sigh. "Her safe place where she can leave the stress of the day behind."

"No work talk at home then," he chuckled.

"There is plenty," Ethan smiled. "But there is always solution for the problems at home… even if they are temporary. She is such a different person at home. So calm… happy." _Oh man_ , Connor smiled inwardly, _he so whipped_. "You should see her in a pair of leggings and an over-sized T-shirt. She can spend hours curled up with a book or just watching the street below. I know she loves her job but I'm sure that she's the happiest when at home."

"I can see that," Connor smiled glancing at Sarah's impressive book shelves. "How is she holding up?"

"I think she passed the breaking point. When she got the call from the landlord, she cried herself to sleep. But ever since… I don't know."

"It can't be easy. It's not just an apartment she'd lost. It's a part of her life."

"Yeah," Ethan sighed, picking up the wrinkled book that was lying on the coffee table. "I wish I could help her."

"You are helping her. Believe me," Connor told him sincerely as he started taping a box to pack the books. After all, if he was not mistaken, Ethan was not only giving her place to stay but he was giving her a home.

He was just not sure that either of them had realized that.

**TBC**

_Thanks for reading!_


	4. The Elephant in the Room

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_Summary: Life is constantly changing. Sarah and Ethan have to deal with that together when they are forced to share an apartment. But where does it leave the two of them? Sarah/Ethan, of course_

_Thank you, guys, for sticking with this story. I'm here to finish it. It's getting a little fast-paced than I originally intended to but I want to finish it before the new season begins. So, here you go…_

* * *

"You know," Connor started conversationally as they exited the apartment and said their good-byes to the realtor. "It had a really nice balcony… with a killing view. That was the problem with the last one, right?"

"Yeah…" Sarah stalled. He was sure she liked the place. "But have you seen that bathroom? That color is an atrocity." Connor opened his mouth as if wanting to say something but he thought better of it, contenting himself with frowning at her usually unpainted nails that were currently sporting that same deep purple that dominated the bathroom. It was actually nice. Sarah, though, seemed blissfully unaware of the coincidence. "Plus, I really appreciate a good bath over a quick a shower anytime."

"I could have sworn you said you prefer the shower," Connor muttered, remembering some of the previous apartments they'd seen whose greatest problem was their bathtubs.

"What was that?" Sarah turned to him as they stopped by the elevator.

"Nothing," he returned her gaze with an innocent look. "You know what? Let's go and get a drink somewhere before our next appointment." Maybe it was time to address her almost pathological fear of committing to any apartment… or leaving her current one.

"All right," Sarah nodded. "I could use a coffee." Yeah, he could, too.

They found a nice café not too far and settled by a small table.

"You know, Sarah," Connor started after a little silence, "I'm happy to see as many apartments as you want with you but maybe it's time to ask yourself what you really want." There, he said it. He had tried subtle. He had tried teasing. But it seemed that Sarah was hell-bent on ignoring the proverbial elephant.

She was sleeping in the man's bed, for God's sake!

"Well, there is a lot of things I want. That's why it's so difficult," she almost whined. "I want a large living room and two separate bedrooms. I really need my space. I want carpet in the bedroom but not in the living room. It's hardwood all the way. And don't start on the terrace… wood tiling looks the best."

_And there you go_ , Connor sighed.

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded in acknowledgment. He knew all that. "And I also know that two bedrooms are too big. Who wants to clean that much? Just like it is insane to have wall-to-wall carpet in the apartment and wood tiling on the balcony. Porcelain tile is the way to go… You see my point?"

"It's not that easy…"

"Oh, it is." Let's drag that elephant in the middle. "You want the man, you tell him. I'm pretty sure he'll be crushed when you finally move out. In fact, I'd be surprised if he didn't want you to stay."

"Are you talking about Ethan?" Sarah seemed genuinely taken aback by the turn of the conversation.

_Oh, boy! She really didn't have any idea._

"Look," Connor shifted on his seat. "I am sorry if I'm overstepping my boundaries here but someone has to say it: You are great together."

"Ethan and I are friends," Sarah pointed out in a flat tone. Now, she was clearly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was heading to.

Connor didn't back off, though.

"Are you really?"

"I have a boyfriend."

"Do you really?" That hurt her, he could see. "Jeez, sorry, Sarah. All I'm trying to say is that, maybe, you should reconsider your friendship. I know I don't know what's really going on with you two and it's not my place to judge. But I know what I see. And as your friend, I just want you to be happy." Long silence followed his little speech and when Sarah did not speak up, Connor continued. "And I'm sorry again for being a busybody. I won't talk about it again. I promise." And for good measure he accompanied his statement with a charming smile.

That, in turn, put a smile on Sarah's face as well and he was relieved when she reached over the table to put a hand on his.

"Thank you."

If nothing, at least he'd given her a little nudge into the good direction…

…he hoped.

* * *

_(2-19. Ctrl Alt)_

After the day's events, Sarah's mind was still too worked up to be able to go to sleep so 1 a.m. found Sarah in the kitchen looking at a kettle, waiting for the water to boil.

What was it they say about the kettle and the water?

"Usually it's you who are dragging me to bed and not the other way around." Sarah jumped at the sound of Ethan. "Sorry."

"That's okay," she gave him a small smile over her shoulder then reached for another mug in the cupboard. "I was somewhere else."

"What happened?" Ethan sat down to the kitchen isle and took the mug of tea offered to him. "Thanks."

"Well, that's something I'd like to know, too," Sarah sighed, joining him by the isle. "First off, we went off-line and I had to do background checks the old-fashioned way. Don't laugh," she narrowed her eyes as Ethan began to chuckle. "I grew up with wi-fi. It was exhausting."

"All right, go on," Ethan tried to school his features but he still looked too bemused for his own good.

Sarah took a deep breath.

"Then Dr. Charles went all nuts and started talking to me about Wheeler's residency spot and that they have difficulty in filling it, then I went all nuts because I thought that he wanted to get rid of me and finally, I completely lost it and told him off. My attending! Can you imagine that?"

"Sarah, you know him. And I know you…"

"Tread carefully there," Sarah warned him. "I broke up with Joey because of what you are to say."

"You what?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot that part." She shrugged bitterly.

"I am sorry, Sarah."

"Don't be," Sarah tried to dismiss him. "It was a long time coming."

"It's still not easy," he told her, reaching for her hand over the counter and giving her a sympathetic look.

"No," Sarah shook her head. "But it's for the better."

"Maybe it is."

Sarah suddenly found herself stunned by his expression. It was as if he'd been wistful…

"Anyway," Ethan suddenly cleared his throat, pulling away. "I was just saying that the man has a way of being more cryptic than necessary… he likes making you work… and you…" Sarah gave him a challenging look. "You tend to overthink things."

"I do not!"

"You do, too," Ethan smiled, standing up. "You have a beautiful mind, Sarah. But a word of advice," he whispered in her hair as he leant down to press a kiss on her forehead. "Stop making things complicated. You'd be surprised how much simpler life could be." For a long moment, they held each other's gaze before Ethan once again broke it. "Come back to bed and try to sleep."

Sarah nodded as Ethan turned to return to bed.

It wasn't long before Sarah climbed in next to him, lying on her back. He was lying on his side, facing her, eyes closed. She gave him a sad smile.

"Go to sleep," he whispered without opening an eye and sneaking an arm around her waist.

Her smile turned more genuine.

"Thank you for listening to all of this shit."

"That's what friends are for."

_Friends_ , Sarah mused as she scooted a little closer to him.

* * *

"Well," Ethan laughed as he opened the front door for Sarah. "It was fun… if nothing else." He stepped in after her.

"Yeah," Sarah agreed as they got out of their jackets. "I can't remember apartment hunting being such a difficult job." She seemed exasperated and Ethan could really sympathize. It wasn't their first round around town and he knew that Sarah had dragged Connor with her a couple of times as well. "They are just not perfect," she lamented with a cute pout.

"You can't rush it," Ethan agreed already on his way to the kitchen. "These things take time. You'll know when you've found the perfect one." He just wished she'd be less desperate for leaving. "Until then," he turned back to her, "you are welcome here as long as you want." He wanted to say that she should move in with him for good but something in her behavior stopped him. She didn't seem to be in the right place for such a proposition.

"Thank you," Sarah gave him a grateful smile. "Do I have time for a quick shower?" she asked, looking at the vegetables he had grabbed for a salad as he reached the kitchen.

"Of course," he nodded. "Dinner will be ready when you get out."

As Sarah padded away into the general direction of the bathroom, Ethan wondered about their current living arrangement. He knew it felt right but he also knew that it wasn't healthy. They seriously needed to talk but Ethan didn't want to burden her any further than she'd already been. Work hadn't been easy for her and losing her apartment had seriously thrown her off kilter. Not to mention that she had just broken up with that Pathology kid. She didn't need to be put on the spot by him.

But he couldn't help himself…

So, in a desperate attempt to keep her with him, he had resorted to criticizing the various apartments they had visited. Shady neighborhood and bad transportation were comfortable to fall back on but there were some old window frames here and some spots of uncertain origin there and they were quickly out of the door. Actually, thinking about it, Ethan mused as he chopped the vegetables, Sarah hadn't really needed any help to find faults with the apartments. She was doing surprisingly good on her own.

He chuckled, reaching for a baguette.

Maybe he shouldn't postpone that conversation for too long. After all, he was the one pointing out her tenacity to overthink things a few nights ago. Maybe she was doing just that… figuring things out for herself… making things extremely complicated in the process.

* * *

_(2-21. Deliver Us)_

When Ethan got home, he instantly knew that something was wrong. He didn't need to see Sarah hunched over a half-empty wine glass and he certainly didn't need to see the almost empty bottle… He could actually feel it in the air.

When he finally caught sight of Sarah, he let out a tired sigh. He was becoming increasingly worried for her. It wasn't the first time in the last couple of days – no, it'd been weeks already – that he found Sarah in similar state. Work had been taking a toll on her lately and it certainly didn't help her personal life, either.

It should not be like that.

"Rough day?" Ethan asked, sitting down next to her. Sarah just scoffed, playing with the wine glass in front of her, so Ethan decided to prod a little further. "I heard that you had to evaluate Dr. Charles' daughter."

"That wasn't the rough part of my day," Sarah shared bitterly before downing the content of her glass.

Long silence followed her statement but Ethan waited patiently.

"What am I doing with my life? I always wanted to be a doctor, you know. It really sucks to know that I'm no good at it. Maybe I should have stuck with Pathology. Better yet, I should have stayed at the café. Apparently, I don't altogether suck at it."

"Where does all that come from?"

"Did you know that not even Dr. Charles believes in me? He has a way to go into your head. He always knows what to say. He makes you feel better, you know. But ultimately, he is just manipulating you. That is what he does…"

"All right," Ethan sighed, standing up and reaching for the wine glass in Sarah's hand. "I think we'll continue this conversation during a walk. The cool air will help you see more clearly."

"Ah I see clear enough," Sarah said as Ethan pulled her up and she stumbled into his arms.

"No offence," Ethan put an arm around her waist to steady her, "but I really doubt that." She scoffed into his shoulder and he smiled. "And just for you to know," he pressed a kiss into her messy hair, "I do believe in you. And that is coming from a doctor who's apparently drilling the med students like a sergeant," he added with a smile, holding Sarah against him.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go, the reason for this whole story: the season finale! Thank you so much for your patience. I hope it paid off!

_What the hell was he thinking?_  Ethan wondered as he took the stairs from down the roof.

He'd just kissed April! What a mess!

He didn't mean to… he wasn't even thinking about it.

He was thinking about life, about how short it can be. He was thinking about the fire and how scared he was until he saw Sarah walking up to the building. He was thinking about Sarah… and Noah. The boy seemed to have developed a crush on her. And why wouldn't he? She was smart, beautiful and charming… sometimes in a really annoying way. She was adorable. She was the woman he had fallen for. But he saw the two of them together. He saw the smile Noah had put on her face with his childish ways to get her attention.  _Had he ever put such a smile on her face?_   _Or, did he just burden her with his life?_  Ethan wondered.

That was what he was thinking when April appeared next to him. That was what he was thinking when he kissed her. He wasn't thinking of her, he was thinking of Sarah.

He sighed, reaching the door to the ED.

What a moron he was!

* * *

When Sarah woke up, she found the bed empty next to her. And from the look of it, it hadn't been slept in, either. She frowned as she slowly got out of it. Maybe Ethan had been held up and didn't get home last night, she guessed, then made a mental note to prepare some breakfast for him. These thoughts, however, evaporated as soon as she stepped into the living room and saw the pillow and the neatly folded blanket on the couch.

That she was not expecting.

They'd been sharing a bed ever since that awful day when Jason died… ever since he slept through a night next to her. It was an unspoken agreement between the two of them. Or maybe not, Sarah concluded, passing the couch.

She skipped breakfast and only had a coffee down the corner before taking the bus.

* * *

"You should log in." Ethan was pulled out of his thoughts by Will. He turned and saw that the man's coat was still on. "At least it would seem like that you're not just staring into nothingness."

"Yeah, thanks," Ethan answered, still distracted.

"Everything's all right, pal?" His voice sounded genuinely concerned.

"Yeah," Ethan pushed himself up. "Just not much sleep last night," and with that, he left the room.

That was true, he didn't really sleep. After the scene up on the roof, he went home. He'd known for some time that he should talk to Sarah. That conversation was long overdue. And, really, it should not have been such a big deal. They slept in the same bed, for God's sake! But he'd been pushing it off. After all, everything was good. More than good. They were sharing breakfast, holding hands now and then; they were even sharing kisses. Granted that they were only pecks on the cheek or the forehead but that was sure something. He thought it would work itself out.

But not now. He kissed another woman and he felt terrible about it.

So, when he got home and saw Sarah already sleeping in his bed, he just grabbed a pillow and a blanket and settled down on the couch. He had no right to lie next to her.

When sleep wouldn't come, though, he dressed and went right back to work.

He saw Sarah arrive and made sure to avoid eye contact. That log-in screen seemed fascinating again. He could not miss the excited voice of Noah, though. He was practically jumping in front of Sarah, asking her about his graduation party and whether she would be there. Sarah looked for him over the gathering crowd but he quickly averted his gaze. This time, he actually logged in.

He really should get his acts together.

Sarah did not come to say 'hi' and Ethan thought it was for the better. He had another conversation to have before he could talk to her. And he would have it before he went mad with guilt.

"April," he walked up to the nurse. "About last night…"

She started to shake her head even before he would have finished his sentence.

"It is just as much my fault. It never happened." He wanted to say more than that but a man was rolled in in that moment and everything on his mind was pushed into the background.

* * *

She wasn't a very outgoing person but this was a good party. She was glad that she'd finally decided to go. The last couple of days were eating at her nerves and the strange situation that seemed to have developed with Ethan was just adding fuel to the fire. She sorely needed to wind down.

And Noah was adorable. He was so happy and she was happy for him. She didn't even have the heart to say no when he pulled her on the dance floor. He had such an easy personality, it was hard not to smile around him. Just the spark in his eyes made her feel better.

But then again, that was the same with Ethan. He had a different kind of spark, though. It wasn't the free joy of a boy but something more guarded. But his look could embrace her, make her feel safe and cared for. She loved that feeling. She loved…

She stopped mid-movement and looked at Noah bewildered.

"You all right?" he asked concerned as the others danced on around them.

"Yeah," she drawled uncertain but then gave him a smile. "I am." Then she leant closer and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "Congratulations!" she said. "And I'm sorry," she added in a whisper before turning away and leaving him standing in the middle of the dancing crowd. She could imagine his confused and crestfallen look. She could certainly feel his eyes on her as she walked away to find Ethan wherever he might be.

Then it was her turn to look confused.

She'd found him.

She thought he would not come to the party but he was right there, standing away from the crowd… in a silent conversation with April. As a reflex, she stepped into the cover of the large potted palm tree. She felt like an intruder. They looked so intimate, standing close to each other. She closed her eyes for a moment. Now, she could imagine her own confused and crestfallen look.

She was just about to turn and walk away when April turned and walked in her direction. She looked for an escape route but there was really none. And, really, making a run for it would have made her look conspicuous. So she stood her ground as the other woman approached.

"Go," April stopped next to her and indicated towards Ethan with an encouraging smile before leaving her.

_Go_ , what was that supposed to mean? She scoffed to herself as she watched April joining her brother. Then she turned towards Ethan, who was left leaning against the railing and staring into the dark river.

Sarah shook herself. If nothing else, she would find out if the man wanted her in his apartment or she had just stayed over her welcome. That would not have been the first disappointment of her life.

"You know…" she tried for a light tone as she approached the man, "you can't keep avoiding me forever. We live under the same roof." She stopped by the railing and waited for him to look at her. "Unless you want me to…" She couldn't finish her sentence as Ethan shifted and pressed his lips against hers.

_Okay_ , she thought, that was not exactly what she was expecting. She wasn't complaining, though. She sneaked her arms around his neck and smiled into the kiss. When they pulled apart, she was still smiling. And the look in Ethan's eyes… there was a spark she'd never seen before. There was the joy of a young boy in his eyes. She giggled.

"I love knowing you under the same roof as me. And the only thing I want you to do is to remain there… if that is what you also want."

"I don't want to go anywhere."

"Good," Ethan acknowledged her answer and pulled her into an embrace. How could she be so blind? Connor was right. It'd never been the apartments. It'd been her all that time. She wanted to be where she was at the moment and suddenly she had no idea why it had been so hard to admit it. "There is one thing you should know, though." Ethan pulled away with a guilty look. Sarah looked at him with anticipation. That didn't sound too good. "Yesterday… I kissed April."

"Oh, God," that was the only thing she could mutter.

"In my defense," Ethan continued when she couldn't add anything more. "I was thinking of you… and she was just there… I am really sorry." He looked adorably sheepish.  _He does know how incredibly stupid that sounded, right?_  Sarah wondered while her brain was still processing the information.

"All right," Sarah drawled after a while. "If we want to do this," she indicated between them, "we have to make some things clear." Ethan nodded obediently. "If you want to kiss me, you can kiss me." She stated with a serious expression. "No need for you going around kissing other women. You know where to find me."

"Are we good then?" He looked so hopeful.

"Now that we laid down the ground rules, yes." She nodded still looking sufficiently serious. "We're good." Then she grinned.

Then she frowned.

"I owe you an apology, too," she admitted as she placed her palms on Ethan's chest, being back in his arms. "I know it wasn't easy to live with me in the last few weeks… and I'm sorry for that."

"I loved every minute of it."

"Even the apartment hunting?" She gave him an incredulous look. "I'm sure Connor will avoid me for the rest of my life."

"Well, he hadn't fallen for you," Ethan smiled. "But lucky for you…" The rest of his sentence was left unfinished as, this time, she was the one kissing him.

"As I was saying," Ethan cleared his throat as they parted, and continued unfazed. "I found it especially amusing. The things you came up with…" He earned an elbow into his rib for that remark but he grinned nonetheless.

"Look who's talking! You think I did not notice your half-assed excuses?"

"In my defense, I had to come up with something to make you stay until I pulled my head out of my ass."

"Quite a pair we make, right?" Sarah shook her head bemused.

"Hey, we worked it out, didn't we?"

"That we did," she agreed, melting into his arms and laying her head in the crook of his neck. "I love you," she whispered and smiled when Ethan tightened his hold around her.

"What do you say we leave the kids to their fun?" he offered.

"Yeah," Sarah sighed, then pulled away and looked at Ethan. "Let's go home."

"Let's go home."

**THE END**

_Thank you for reading!_


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